Weblog
Sunday, 20 September 2009
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A Journal Entry
When I was pondering a question posed by a group I am a member of I had the urge to trace my right hand on one side of the page and my left on the back. As soon as I had done this I felt God silently willing me on and began writing my feelings and my realization about the exercise on the front side of the page, on the back side I continued the revelation and felt God smile at me.The left side is my right hand, I left it traced a single time to represent the amount of time I will spend on this earth, and to show how there are times I drift away.The right side is my left hand, I traced it once then went over it to darken the lines representing the constant of God and how he will be here eternally.
The power of this experience leads me to feel that God wants me to share it, so here it is.
Monday, 25 May 2009
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Music, God, and Genius
A couple months ago Apple premiered a new function for iTunes called Genius. What it does is make playlists based on the songs that you have loaded into the applications, lists can be made of 25, 50, 75, or 100 songs. I was skeptical that Genius would be as genius as Apple made it sound. I started by mkaing lists of some songs I was in the mood for and making playlists for characters in some of the stories I'm writing. The playlists that it came up with were all amazing and well matched.
Scrolling through some of my religious (I dislike referring to music as christian or gospel) music and came across the song Fallen Man by Relient K. I had been feeling extremely fallen at the time and close to hopeless and had genius make the playlist. I started listening to it and while most of the songs are religious there are some that come from non-religious (sometimes referred to as secular) music but blended beautifully with the other songs to create a playlist that spoke about being fallen and the redemption that comes from it.
I have felt for a long time that while my religious music can be glorifying so can some of my non-religious music. I have found that when I let Genius make a playlist I am letting God make a playlist for me as well. Another example of how I need to keep letting go of things so God can make the playlist of my life. -
Currently
Spring and Summer
By Jon Foreman
Instead of a Show
see relatedInstead of A Show By: Jon Foreman
I hate all your show and pretense
the hypocrisy of your praise
the hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show
Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stop up my ears when your
singing ‘em
I hate all your show
Instead let there be a flood
of justice
An endless procession of righteous
living, living
Instead let there be a flood
of justice
Instead of a show
your eyes are closed when you’re praying
you sing right along with the band
you shine up your shoes for services
but there’s blood on your hands
you turned your back on the homeless
and the ones that don’t fit in your plans
quit playing religion games
there’s blood on your hands
Ah! let’s argue this out
if your sins are blood red
let’s argue this out
you’ll be white as the clouds
let’s argue this out
quit fooling around
give love to the ones who can’t love at all
give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
stand up for the ones who can’t stand up at all
instead of a show
I hate all your show
Tuesday, 03 February 2009
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Conversations with God
I started listening to Book 1 of Conversations with God the other day. I only got through the first few tracks of the first CD before I felt my sanity slipping. When it comes to audiobooks I don't think that authors should read them, with some exceptions. Beyond that I found it an intriguing idea.
I'm not sure that I've ever had a Conversation with God and I feel a little guilty about it. I'd love to have a conversation with God, I could probably use such a talk. In a way though it feels tempting God. Though I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask. -
Eleventh Hour
The Eleventh Hour - Jars of Clay
Trace the shape of my heart
Till it becomes more familiar
To your eyes
I've been lost without you
Cold without your love
It's taken days and nights
To make me realize
Rescue me from hanging on this line
I won't give up on giving you
The chance to blow my mind
Let the eleventh hour quickly
Pass me by
I'll find you when I think
I'm out of time
Take the place of my heart
Till I become a stranger to my life
I've been down without you
Wrong without your love
In time will I be what
You're thinking of
Rescue me from hanging on this line
I won't give up on giving you
The chance to blow my mind
Let the eleventh hour quickly
Pass me by
I'll find you when I think
I'm out of time
Out of time
I've been down without you
Cold without your love
In time will I be what
You're thinking of
Rescue me from hanging on this line
I won't give up on giving you
The chance to blow my mind
Let the eleventh hour quickly
Pass me by
I'll find you when I think
I'm out of time
Rescue me from hanging on this line
I won't give up on giving you
The chance to blow my mind
Let the eleventh hour quickly
Pass me by
I'll find you when I think
I'm out of time
Time...time...time
Where Is Your Heart - Kelly Clarkson
I don't believe
In the smile that you leave
When you walk away
And say goodbye
Well I don't expect
The world to move underneath me
But for My sake
Could you try?
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine
Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?
I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me that's reaching out
For your hand
And I've always dreamed
That love would be effortless
Like a petal fallin' to the ground
A dreamer followin' his dream
Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?
It seems so much is left unsaid
So much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it's just you and me
Oh yeah
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine
Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh yeah
Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Where is your heart?
I feel like I'm trapped in my Eleventh Hour, every so often I get a brief reprieve and soon I find myself back in the same place again. All the while I catch whispers of God asking me where my heart is. I wonder where it is myself. There are days I am compassionate and other days where I feel numb, like I'm drowning.
I want my heart to be in the right place to allow God to use me. I'm looking for where I belong but it seems every time I try a door it's locked or I get it open a little and then it slams in my face. I want to know what I am not doing right. I want to know where I belong. I want to be satisfied and fulfilled. I want to be spoken to loud enough that I can hear.
Please.
PageTurner
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- Name: PageTurner
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 7/26/2008
