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Monday, 23 August 2010

  • Playing with Fire?

    Several weeks ago I was talking with a friend via IM when he started asking questions about whether or not I believed in fairies and such things. As I was about to respond I stopped myself and thought for a moment. My trained Christian reaction said "No, I don't there is no such thing.", my romantic (adventurous) side said "It is possible they exist.", then my philosophical side spoke up "Is that what we're calling them these days?".

    I sat back for a moment and considered what my philosophical side had suggested. As I know them faeries are spirits, typically occurring in nature. They can be good, sometimes a little mischievous, and other times they can be downright evil.
    Looking to my trained Christian side I asked if there was any kind of spirit that could be good or bad. They hesitated but the answer was obvious. "Angels are spirits who can be both good and bad.".
    My linguistic side choose that moment to throw in their two cents. "To-may-to, to-maa-to.". My philosophical side agreed with a "Bingo.".
    For a moment I was stunned by the thought. What if my beliefs weren't as different from everyone else's? What if my friend and I believed in the same things but we were just calling it something different? After all every belief system out there has its fanatics who flaw it.

    Bringing myself back to the conversation I gave a vague answer. As he asked more questions I provided more vague answers, still considering the revelation I had just had. When he finally called me out on being vague I told him that I felt we were talking about the same things and just calling them by different names. I gave him the example of the faeries and angels which he thought was interesting.

    Since then I can't stop thinking about the revelation I'd had. It gives me hope and understanding that God has built one path to him but given it many names; I've never liked that idea that we all have to shove our beliefs in a tiny man made box or be cookie cutter Christians. Now my trained Christian side is freaking out that this is going to land us, as in me, in hell for such blasphemous thoughts. My Christian side is in favor of it "God isn't narrow minded like humans are. Besides being goth hasn't gotten us kicked out.".

    I still can't help but feel that it seems a little bit like playing with fire. I know there are a lot of people who could point out all the differences between belief systems but where has focusing on the differences got us?
    Is it playing with fire or a divine revelation?

  • Reconciling Faith and Friends

    I have been looking for a full-time job for a while now, *cough* years *cough, shock and amazement. the searching is not fun, the applying is so repetitive, and the waiting for an interview or a call back is exhausting. With the state of Virginia Beach Public Libraries, and their stupidity in refusing to give me a full-time gig, several of my friends and I are looking for jobs that will let us get out of the system.

    They're the type of people that will apply for almost any job across various fields. I on the other hand prefer to search in fields regarding education, books, and the like. I also have faith that God is leading me along a path that he is paving just for me, no matter how impatient I become.

    The mere fact that I got the library job when I did. I had said if I didn't have a job by Christmas in 2007 I would just move back home, no big. In late October I got the job and started in November 2007. It has given me amazing opportunities and allowed me to expand my knowledge and experience in libraries. I have also gotten the chance to work with some amazing teens, some of them are annoying but most of them are great. I admit I have a few favorites and they are the reason I fight so hard for teen programs and the like. I believe that God put me in this job and they are a huge part of that reason.

    Most of my friends here don't get that. They think I too, like them, should be applying all over the place regardless of many of the factors I consider. Based on the way things have been going lately I think I see my future teacher career getting closer and closer, r I hope that's what God has been hinting at.

    I am reluctant to leave my teens, even though they will one day move on and leave me. In fact two have them have asked me not to leave until they do. Now if the perfect job came along I would sadly leave but stay in contact with them. Again though my friends are like whatever you can't let anything hold you back, and like I said they'll leave eventually too.

    It's exhausting to have faith in what I am doing and where I am being led when my friends are pressuring me. I keep trying to explain it them but most of them don't seem to be catching on. C'est la vie I suppose. I'd prefer to have a little more harmony with my faith and friends though.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

  • A Journal Entry

    When I was pondering a question posed by a group I am a member of I had the urge to trace my right hand on one side of the page and my left on the back. As soon as I had done this I felt God silently willing me on and began writing my feelings and my realization about the exercise on the front side of the page, on the back side I continued the revelation and felt God smile at me.

    The left side is my right hand, I left it traced a single time to represent the amount of time I will spend on this earth, and to show how there are times I drift away.
    The right side is my left hand, I traced it once then went over it to darken the lines representing the constant of God and how he will be here eternally.

    The power of this experience leads me to feel that God wants me to share it, so here it is.

     


Monday, 25 May 2009

  • Music, God, and Genius

    A couple months ago Apple premiered a new function for iTunes called Genius. What it does is make playlists based on the songs that you have loaded into the applications, lists can be made of 25, 50, 75, or 100 songs. I was skeptical that Genius would be as genius as Apple made it sound. I started by mkaing lists of some songs I was in the mood for and making playlists for characters in some of the stories I'm writing. The playlists that it came up with were all amazing and well matched.

    Scrolling through some of my religious (I dislike referring to music as christian or gospel) music and came across the song Fallen Man by Relient K. I had been feeling extremely fallen at the time and close to hopeless and had genius make the playlist. I started listening to it and while most of the songs are religious there are some that come from non-religious (sometimes referred to as secular) music but blended beautifully with the other songs to create a playlist that spoke about being fallen and the redemption that comes from it.

    I have felt for a long time that while my religious music can be glorifying so can some of my non-religious music. I have found that when I let Genius make a playlist I am letting God make a playlist for me as well. Another example of how I need to keep letting go of things so God can make the playlist of my life.

  • Currently
    Spring and Summer
    By Jon Foreman
    Instead of a Show
    see related

    Instead of A Show By: Jon Foreman

    I hate all your show and pretense
    the hypocrisy of your praise
    the hypocrisy of your festivals
    I hate all your show

    Away with your noisy worship
    Away with your noisy hymns
    I stop up my ears when your
    singing ‘em
    I hate all your show

    Instead let there be a flood
    of justice
    An endless procession of righteous
    living, living
    Instead let there be a flood
    of justice
    Instead of a show

    your eyes are closed when you’re praying
    you sing right along with the band
    you shine up your shoes for services
    but there’s blood on your hands

    you turned your back on the homeless
    and the ones that don’t fit in your plans
    quit playing religion games
    there’s blood on your hands

    Ah! let’s argue this out
    if your sins are blood red
    let’s argue this out
    you’ll be white as the clouds
    let’s argue this out
    quit fooling around

    give love to the ones who can’t love at all
    give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
    stand up for the ones who can’t stand up at all
    instead of a show
    I hate all your show

PageTurner

  • Visit PageTurner's Revelife Site
    • Name: PageTurner
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/26/2008

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  • I'm a Christian Goth who's following God and looking for where she belongs.

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